Sometimes I Pretend Our Vacuum Cleaner is a Dog

Vacuum doggieThis is a good idea! Just like pretending a cockroach is a sensitive man trapped in a insect’s carapace.*

It is true, oh dear, so true, that I’ve harbored feelings of great malevolence towards our vacuum cleaner. It sits, in its immaculate white splendor, looking down on me resentfully, grey suction hose wrapped around like arms crossed in judgment:

“Let me suck up the f*cking dust! It’s my calling! It’s my duty! But I cannot do it alone! You, Sarah, must propel me! How hard can that be, you lazy *^$*&%Q#$?!?!”

But these waves of anger at inanimate objects have dissipated as my meditation practice has smoothed some of life’s jagged edges. Now the vacuum cleaner is my friend, a little robot helper!

*Beautiful present for you here: this link gives you the whole text of Kafka’s “Metamorphosis” thanks to the kind folks at the Gutenberg Project. Please consider a small donation to them during your year-end giving.

Here are 3 of the 42,000 books available for FREE: The Mormon Prophet and His Harem; Steam, Its Generation and Use; How to Analyze People on Sight (this includes chapters on: the “Worker,” the “Stayer,” the “Enjoyer,” the “Thriller,” and the “Thinker” — and a bonus chapter on what types should marry each other!!)

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